A Letter in Response to McKay Coppins

In The Most American Religion, McKay Coppins poses the question, “What will the third century of the faith look like?” This is my hope.

Introduction

It was summer and my family was taking an RV trip down the California coast. We had been up at the Redwoods and were now headed home. This was the last day of our trip and honestly, the fact that we were all still alive, well, and getting along okay was a miracle (all I can say is my family doesn’t recommend RV trips). In some small town, the name of which I do not know, we pulled over at a park to stop and eat lunch. Next to us was a car and a few guys sitting at the park bench table. They looked homeless. The car doors were wide open and they were blasting Eminem.

“Oh, this song is good! Do you guys like this song?” I asked my sister-in-law and Dad. It was Lose Yourself.

“No.” she laughed. “I don’t even know what song this is.” said my sister-in-law.

“It’s Eminem, do you know any Eminem?” I asked.

“No, I don’t listen to any rap.” my sister-in-law replied.

“Same, I don’t know how people listen to that stuff.” my dad added.

I didn’t say anything else other than something like “Oh, okay.” and we moved on but he said it in such a way that actually upset me. “You don’t ‘know how anyone’ could like rap?” I wondered to myself. It was such a silly, little thing to be upset about but I was. If my dad doesn’t like rap that’s fine, but I wanted to hear him say that. Instead, he said he didn’t know how anyone could like it. Now, I’m sure if I really cared I could sit my dad down and show him some lyrics and beats and he wouldn’t have a problem acknowledging that he saw some merit in rap. We probably wouldn’t even have to go that far before he acknowledged he wasn’t being literal.

But that exchange has stayed with me. That was not the first or last time I’ve heard someone say “I don’t know how people….” I remember hearing it growing up. I’ve heard it recently. I myself have said it before. I’ve heard it from different people, in different places, and in different contexts. Sometimes the topic of conversation (when the phrase comes up) is totally harmless but other times it is very, very serious. The more I hear it said around serious topics the more I begin to see just how impactful it is. That phrase is a window into the seeds of so many of our issues in this country today. I’m talking about the seeds responsible for many of our political divisions in this great country and false beliefs. “I don’t know how people…” if taken at face value, has wide-ranging ramifications. That is why I am writing this letter.

In this letter, I’m going to break down why this statement is a problem, how we can fix it, walk you through some examples, and at the end suggest ways that we can improve as a country and as a people. This isn’t going to be easy but we so badly need to address it.

One other thing. I didn’t mention my dad not liking rap to make him look bad. My dad is one of the most thoughtful, kind, and wise people I know. He is an amazing listener. He cares about people so much. Without question, he is a very good person. And that is the other reason this letter needs to be written. My dad and the overwhelming majority of people in this country are good people. Yes, we have different opinions but we have made each other enemies. I can’t stand by and watch as we tear each other apart in this country.

The Problem

“We often fear what we do not understand; our best defense is knowledge.” Tuvok, Star Trek: Voyager.

The Star Trek quote above alone could wrap up this letter if we all truly took it to heart but sadly we don’t. So what is Tuvok saying here? He is saying that it is part of our human nature to fear the unknown and the unknown is scary. Makes sense, I know I’ve been there. Why wouldn’t we? Fearing the unknown is a primal instinct, there is certainly a reason for it.

Why do so many people fear the dark? Because we can’t see. We don’t know what is or isn’t there. There could be something harmful. There could also not be. We don’t know. Our minds don’t like uncertainty, there is something unsettling about it. That’s when the fear starts. What we don’t know or understand changes our behavior. Even if nothing is there we might get defensive, we might run away, we might want to cry, or we might latch onto someone we think will keep us safe. However, the best option would be to just turn on the light.

So what does this letter have to do with being afraid of the dark? Everything. But more explicitly, when we do not understand other people’s viewpoints we can often fear them. Our minds don’t like uncertainty so we find other things to explain or justify a person’s viewpoint. Just like a child might fear monsters in the dark (who am I kidding, that’s me sometimes) our minds resort to the wildest and scariest things. We might even start to believe that our fellow countrymen and women are evil.

The Solution

How do we combat this? Well, if a child is afraid of a monster in the closet then you can turn the light on and show them that there is in fact, no monster in the closet.

“But then why did it look like there was a monster?” the child might ask.

“It was just the shadows.” you say or maybe, “You saw some of your clothes and thought it looked like a monster. Now go to sleep, sweetie.”

This is a touching story. I love it. But how about combating the fear of different viewpoints we do not understand? We “turn on the lights” of our understanding by learning more and listening to others with different viewpoints, especially the ones we don’t understand. Especially the ones we see as evil. Then we will see the shadows cast away and what we thought was a monster was in fact, just a shadow. What I am talking about is the common fear of the elusive ideas of “they” and “other side” we hold in our minds. We give these fears many names. Where do we learn to fear them? Oftentimes, from the news.

I’m not saying that what we find we won’t disagree with. There will always be disagreements and we should celebrate our differences. We just have to be willing to work together. That is what our country is built on.

Applying This To Our Lives

I want to provide a few examples of viewpoints that seem scary or evil from the outside but become less scary as we begin to understand them. These examples are meant to just be the beginning of casting away even the scariest shadows. The ultimate goal is that we make learning and understanding a lifelong journey.

I’m going to talk about Defund the Police, abortion, and liberal media outlets. “How can people support the Defund the Police movement?” “How could a Christian vote for Joe Biden and still oppose abortion?” “How can people watch CNN?” These are all questions you may have asked yourself at some point. I know, these are all conservative-leaning questions. They are the first that come to mind because I am a conservative, most people I know are conservative, and I happen to know the simple fact that most members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the United States lean conservative, but I readily acknowledge this goes both ways. Others ask the “opposite” to each of those questions. The point is, it takes listening and understanding on both sides to answer all these questions which is the only way we are going to see each other as good human beings.

These are very sensitive and heavy topics I’m about to dive into and they are hard to talk about. No wonder I made the leadup so long, I just wanted to keep putting off the hard stuff. But alas, here we are. We’ve made it this far and now it’s time to put aside my fear. We’re going to keep going.

Here is my caveat. I am not trying to change your mind on any viewpoint you currently have. I am simply trying to get us to think a little differently so we see where the other side is coming from. If we can just catch a glimpse of where others are coming from then we can start to understand them. If we understand them then our fears will start to dissipate. That’s it, that’s my goal. For us to see the world with fresh eyes and minds that aren’t full of fear.

Defund the Police

First off, here are some quick numbers:

“Forty-two percent say that spending on their local police should stay about the same as it is now, and 31% say that spending should be increased, according to a Pew poll out Thursday.

Just a quarter of Americans say spending on policing in their area should be decreased, and only about half of those say it should be decreased a lot.”

Now let’s address the 25% who say police spending should be decreased in their area. The best way to explain this is to just come out and say what many people mean when they say “Defund the Police.” They do not actually want to abolish police departments. For many people in support of defunding the police it means asking the question, “Would some money spent on police departments be better allocated somewhere else like mental health, education, employment, and youth services?” When I found this out I immediately could see where these people were coming from. I’m not saying this makes sense everywhere or that it should ever happen, but depending on the location, specific circumstances, and available data I could see reallocating some of a police department’s budget making sense. It could benefit a city as a whole, including the police departments that now have to deal with fewer issues spawned from mental health, education, employment, and youth challenges.

Yes, there were places like CHAZ which obviously didn’t work but that was an extreme case (even in extreme cases the answer is not always that someone is trying to be evil, maybe they took a good thing too far). Once we “turn on the lights” of our understanding I’m not saying we won’t find any spiders in the corners. There will always be the extremes of each case. With the lights on, we will see them for who they are and thus many of our fears will be dispelled. You don’t have to like what you find but you should know what you’re dealing with.

What about the riots and looting that happened this summer? “I don’t know how people could take such drastic measures?” you might ask. Yes, 80% of them were connected to Black Lives Matter or the pandemic. But according to the same U.S. Crisis Monitor’s analysis, 95% of them were peaceful. The media often skews our perception of reality because headlines help the bottom line. That doesn’t mean the media is inherently bad, it just means sometimes you have to seek to understand a situation for yourself before you can judge a situation.

Abortion

The initial question I posed was “How could a Christian vote for Joe Biden and still oppose abortion?” I am going to answer that but I need to preface my answer with a few stats and clarifications.

Doesn’t it seem the country is split between pro-life and pro-choice? Doesn’t it seem the divide is stark? It definitely does and if you have to choose one or the other it is, but just saying pro-life vs pro-choice is too broad to understand where people stand on the issue. When we get to the specifics the numbers start to break down. According to a 2018 Gallup study:

“Six in 10 U.S. adults think abortion should generally be legal in the first three months of pregnancy. However, support drops by about half, to 28%, for abortions conducted in the second three months, and by half again, to 13%, in the final three months.”

Another misunderstanding is what overturning Roe v. Wade would actually mean. If the Supreme Court overruled Roe v. Wade today abortion laws would revert to the states.

The other stat to know is that “the number of abortions per 100 pregnancies ending in either abortion or live birth fell 13%, from 21.2 in 2011 to 18.4 in 2017.” Apparently, a policy does not determine destiny. Which makes sense! Just because people can do something doesn’t mean they always will. People will think for themselves. Oftentimes the law is scarier than what people will actually choose to do. The law grabs headlines while the American people still exercise their agency.

So how could someone vote along Democratic party lines but still oppose abortion? I believe the argument here was that if Joe Biden was elected President and Democrats controlled Congress then they would pack the Supreme Court and uphold Roe v. Wade. Well, before the election and now the possibility of packing the Supreme Court is open to doubt, knowing if Democrats would pack the court if they could is not certain, and how much overturning Roe v. Wade would impact abortions is questionable since many states would still allow it. We know the policy isn’t the main factor for determining the abortion ratio and maybe this person believes in abortion in some cases. The whole topic is nuanced, complicated, personal, heavy, not straightforward, and riddled with questions at every turn. To know why someone votes the way they do would take asking them individually, but I can imagine scenarios where a Christian would feel comfortable voting for Joe Biden even if they oppose abortion in many cases. This isn’t even to say all they could do outside the voting process to stand up for what they believe in on this issue.

Liberal Media

One quick look at CNN.com and one will find a lot of blasts taken at Trump, an attack at Fox News, why “nice guys are the worst guys” (you can’t catch a break around here), and something about billionaires being a problem. Now, that’s a good opening sentence — thanks, CNN! While it makes me chuckle there is an underlying problem here. As I’ve talked to family members and friends about the political divide in our country, much like I am writing about now, I’ve heard the same response multiple times:

“Ty, I try to balance my news sources and see the other side. I’ve sat down and watched CNN many times but what they’re saying is so over the top I can’t take it.”

First of all, I love this! Proof that many people are aware of their media consumption and have a desire to open their minds to different viewpoints. People are smart. People are good.

Secondly, however, this is a sadly true story across the country. I think most people would like to understand the other side of viewpoints but it’s hard when the media takes things to an extreme (that’s what sells though, right?), especially when that media outlet lies opposite to your general political leaning.

I am not perfect. Recently, I found myself judging someone for the news story they shared with me. I assumed I knew what they were trying to say, I offered my rebuttal, and thus ensued a misunderstanding. It was a good example of how easy it is to typecast someone based on their news sources. In my scenario, I cast a wide net argument at my friend on a specific issue he didn’t actually believe in. Sure, the news story he shared with me made it seem like he held a particular stance I disagreed with but that wasn’t the case.

This is all to say that news sources do not equal held opinions. There is a lot of political media out there and for example, to think everyone who watches a certain channel holds the same beliefs is ludicrous. People are smart and they think for themselves. They do not take everything they hear as fact. So how can people watch CNN? Well, my question for you is do you watch Fox News? Do you go along with every single thing they say? If the answer is no, then not everyone who watches CNN goes along with what they say. This goes both ways. I’ve found it depends on which extreme you’re more able to tolerate. This also applies to elected officials. Hence the saying, “the lesser of two evils.” Everyone gets it.

Wrapping Up

Thank you for bearing with me, I know I just blasted conservatives. For each of these topics, there is judgment and misunderstanding held by some liberals too. “How can people say ‘all lives matter’ at a time like this?” “I don’t understand people who think the government should control what I do with my body.” “How can people even stand to watch Fox News?” The answers to these questions are complicated and nuanced and what you perceive is often not reality.

There are two sides to every coin. I provided these examples to illustrate that even some of the most contentious arguments have merit to them. There are a plethora of other issues that we can find understanding if we try. I know at this point you might be thinking “Easy for you to take the stance of neutrality and look down your nose at us.” That is not what I’m trying to do. I have my opinions and I disagree with many people on each of these issues but to go into that is not the point of this letter. The point is that we see the humanity in each other and we don’t let others infuse us with fear despite how much they’d like to.

One other thing. Christians know they should have faith and not fear. We just celebrated Christmas where we read “Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy” (Luke 2:10). So in response to seeing so much evil in the world, many believe the Second Coming is around the corner. Because of what I have explained in this letter I do not think that. Of course, no one knows so it is all speculation but there is so much good in this world for me to believe God would destroy it so soon. In fact, I believe we have so much more learning and growing to do that the Second Coming is far away, but that’s just me. Either way, I’m going to try to fight fear with faith and with understanding because “Light and truth forsake that evil one” (D&C 93:37).

In Conclusion

We have to choose which reality we believe in. Either half the country is evil and we are headed toward swift and speedy destruction or the majority of people are good and our end goal is largely the same but there are forces at work that cause contention and strife amongst us. Either way, we can do better at understanding and not judging our fellow citizens so that we never leave “How do people…?” unanswered.

I believe we are on the up and up. From my perspective, we are 20-year-olds to our new digital world and are going through some growing pains but will pull out of this the better. Like I just mentioned before I believe our end goals are largely the same but we have different ideas of going about it.

So to answer McKay Coppins’ question, “What will the third century of the faith look like?” I hope we see our faith stand up for truth and justice wherever it is found. I’d like to see us fight the sources that try to spread fear and chaos instead of ourselves. My dream would be for every American to see where the other is coming from. That should keep us plenty busy for the century to come.